Love Means... and other Lies

Valentines Day was last week.  I'm sure there was an onslaught of commercials and ads reminding you as such (I would know if I watched TV).  And even if your only outlet is Christian radio, you couldn't miss it really.  Ironically KLOVE brought up the fact that it was Valentines Day all day, yet I didn't hear one peep about Ash Wednesday right around the corner.  I suppose it's "listener friendly" and doesn't want to have to get into Lent and other complicated matters.

Anyway, I'm not anti V-Day!  I am a firm celebrator.  I love getting adorable cards from my nieces, thoughtful notes from my husband, and the yearly excuse to binge on dark chocolate.  I had a great Valentine's Day.  Probably one of the best yet-- and we dined at home!  So, while it might sound like I'm being a VDay scrooge here, its not that at all- I think LOVE is great, and we should celebrate it.  And because of that I'm going to tell you a few things that love is NOT.

LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOUR SORRY.

Whoever said this must have NO idea what it means to have a healthy relationship.  I can't imagine a world where a healthy relationship doesn't have the word "sorry" in it weekly.  In a real love relationship you don't gloss over the hurt or brush it under the rug-- you deal with it.  You admit wrong, you extend forgiveness and you grow closer.  The only thing not apologizing does is create a big fat wall of loneliness and an attitude of "I'm never wrong".  Ok.  I just googled the phrase- turns out it came from a movie... which takes me to the next point.

LOVE IS NOT LIKE THE MOVIES.. and you probably don't want it to be.

Wow, I digested WAY TOO many chick flicks as a teenager.  And you know, in my teenage state, they seemed pretty intriguing.  I mean they were pretty much a follow up to the Disney movies I had swallowed as a grade-schooler.  Boy meets girl, or girl meets boy, two seconds later their married and it's happy ever after.  However, the teenage flicks tended to be more towards two seconds later they're kissey-faced and college version is they 'hooked up' and isn't life grand.  I can't tell you when the last time I watched one of these flicks and actually enjoyed myself  (other than in the pure enjoyment of giggling from the irony of lies being spewed. I really really did enjoy watching the first Twilight after all it is pretty much girl p0rN- unrealistic male characters and no ounce of truth, but I loved it because I couldn't believe how ridiculous it was.)  I got my hopes up again this VDay after reading Relevant and they recommended "The Five Year Engagement" as a means to addressing our generations inability to commit. BLECH. First of all, don't waste your time.  I'm not sure it could even be in the "romantic comedy" category.  It was neither romantic (basically was about a selfish couple) or funny.  I don't remember laughing, probably because it played the all to familiar tune of crass humor trying to get laughs.  However, it was LONG, I would have titled it "the five year movie"  Next time I won't take a magazine's word for a movie and will make sure to rottontomatoes it first!! It isn't a Harry Meets Sally movie, which I actually think is great-- its just a cheap version of that with little real and meaningful dialogue and a bunch of shallow characters.

Love is not like the movies because 'happily ever after' doesn't end with the wedding... it ends up with an old odd couple that is still holding hands and has climbed over the hill and back again.  It's a lot more like Pixar movie 'UP' full of sadness, loss and love.